i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
