Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
