Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
