So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The air was thick with penises
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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