hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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