the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
