I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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