So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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