No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
