either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
