You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
