You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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