Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
