oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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