I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
