Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
