The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm passing your future prison.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
