I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My penis needs a shock collar
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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