no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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