On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
