i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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