your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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