Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
