he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
