If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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