that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sext me about skeletons
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
