apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
