shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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