Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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