so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
