Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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