There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
