I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
