No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How does it feel to date your dad?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
