Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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