Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
