like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
