Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
