Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
