Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
