Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
