Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
