last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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