Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
