What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
