from now on my penis is your penis
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My penis needs a shock collar
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
