That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
