im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I enjoy the company of your penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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