I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
