just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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